Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Two vultures boarded an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons upon which to snack. The stewardess takes one look at the birds and says: “I’m sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it burned in two and sank. This proves that you can’t halve your kayak and heat it, too.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar, looks around slowly and growls: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
There was a man who sent ten different puns to his friends. He hoped that at least one of the puns would make his friends laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.