What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
*Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
*The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
*The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
*Because it’s worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Why is air a lot like sex?
*Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?
*A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
*10 years and 45 lbs
What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
*Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why do men want to marry virgins?
*They can’t stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and goodlooking?
*Because those men already have boyfriends.
What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
*After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
*The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don’t bunnies make noise when they have sex?
*Because they have cotton balls.
What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
*A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
*Are you sure it’s mine?
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
*Mace will do that to you.
Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
*Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
*A different bar.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
*A speech impediment
What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
*A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with… ‘a recipe’.
How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
*Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
*A northern fairytale begins ‘Once upon a time ..’ – A southern fairytale begins ‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit…